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Stew

by A Will Away

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1.
The Rock 03:06
Every time I move, I feel the rock in my shoe. I can tell from your inflection that the credit card in question, isn't going through. I still own that suit. It's folded up in my room waiting for the right occasion to assume its rightful place, and make me look like you. Until I find it, that stone pokes through. I know it's hiding. But, I feel it. I can feel it. Do you feel it too? Every time I chew, I feel an ache in my tooth. I'll take something for the pain, then take a pocket-knife, and shave it down to nothing. I think it's obvious I'm faking. I wasn't trying very hard. I'll take your pen, and then pretend to write your number on my business card. You seem excited. I'll humor you. I try to fight it, but I feel it. Yeah, I feel it. (Oh, yes I do.) Until I find it, that stone pokes through. I know it's hiding. But, I feel it. I can feel it. Do you feel it too?
2.
Karma 03:09
Ground down my teeth. Can't find my keys. Someone keeps locking my jaw. Still chattering, but you know I'm not stupid. I know what I saw. Cold karma – still shooting the breeze. I paid for these holes in my knees. Old faithful, you're all that I see. You might be all that I need. My phone will ring. That's gonna sting. Someone put me in my place. They'll rub it in. My attempts to be happy blew up in my face. Cold karma sent me on a trip. It burnt my right down to a crisp. Old drama still making me sick, You think I'm full of it. That's one too many times. Why don't we try to tow the line? Still you're not winning any prizes, am I? That's one too many times. Why don't we try to tow the line? Still you're not winning any prizes in my eye. That's one too many times. Why don't we try to realign? Still you're not winning any prizes, am I?
3.
Counting hours on an old egg timer. Spittin' chiclets into open hand. Reflection in a broken slider. You accept, you're a mess, you're a wreck. You're a walking long-distance plan. Pretty penny for a vinyl sider. Sippin' whippets out of whipped cream cans. Feeding skittles to a hungry spider. You're upset, you regret, you reflect. Then, you start in on an exit plan. Who rang my bell? I'm paranoid, and there's a car that I don't recognize. It's cold as hell. I'll need a sweater if I'm going outside. Captivated by a distant siren. Hey dog could you hide the bone? Hear them climbing up the outside staircase. We'll act like there's no one home. Who rang my bell? I'm paranoid, and there's a car that I don't recognize. It's cold as hell. I'll need a sweater if I'm going outside. I'll need a sweater if I'm going outside. I'll need a sweater.
4.
I'm feeling rough. But, I guess you knew that off the cuff. And every time I think I've had enough, I get back up, and keep on ticking. Are you an effigy? No. You're just a thing that seems like that to me. So... You know at a point we're losing dignity. So, let me speak, please, to your misgivings. You think you knew better, but I'll take that bet. I've got a five says it's good as it'll get. Did I scratch your insides? Give me a taste of what it's like. Did it make you feel right? A little touch. A little bite. I said I'm feeling rough, and I thought you knew me well enough. You think you knew better, but I'll take that bet. I've got a five says it's good as it'll get. You think you knew better, and I called your bluff. I'm pretty sure that I thought it was enough.
5.
Parachute 03:07
There! The credits! A slow roll. But, I still can't read my name. I wonder if I just fucked up all the paperwork when I was feeling insane. Scared to look at these old notes. Pulling back hard on the reigns. The second I do, I'll make coffee and Soup. To take pleasure from feeling the pain of... Losing fluids... Say something that I don't know. Walk me through it. Something sprang loose in my dome. Here! I'm ready to head out! Someone ran off with my keys. I spin back around, and I stare at the dog, like he honestly knows anything. Fear is worse than the impact. Grab all the things you might keep. Then on the way down, we'll say prayers to a noun, and take credit for taking a leap. All systems losing pressure. We wait for the fall. There's no doing anything helpful at all. Planets moving... time to get out of my seat. Parachuting... hope I can land on my feet.
6.
Hereditary 03:04
There's something hiding in my tree fort. I swear they're missing both their heads. But they saw my design, and they said it looked fine. But, they're going with a photo instead. I felt gelato in my bloodstream. I saw you taste it as I bled. When you saw my insides, and you swore they looked fine. But, I don't think that was quite what you meant. And there's no safe choice now. Like a hard pill, you might feel me scrape you all the way down.. all the way down... down. I got a headache of the good sort. I'll close my eyes, and count to ten. Then I'll think about Mars, and the meat-bags we are, even though that wasn't quite my intent. That spilled coolata in the back seat... I never cleaned it, like you said. With the issues this car has been having so far, I didn't think that this was one I'd regret. So use your safe choice now. Like a bad stain you might need to scrub me all the way out. And there's no sane voice now. Like a hard pill, you might feel me scrape you all the way down... all the way down.
7.
Re-Up 02:21
Holiday – You can't think straight. Getting paid out on the interstate. Throwing shade... We'll sit and bicker on the meaning of a tail-gate. I'm afraid that I'm extinct, and ashamed when they acknowledge it. There's a give-and-take, 'till everybody does the “Hundred-Dollar-Ounce Shake”. I can still re-up. I can feel just fine for a hundred bucks, or two. If I give you up, does it mean that I am always fair to you? Holiday – You can't think straight. Getting paid. Oh, would you ever think? Throwing shade... How did we ever know the meaning in the first place? I can still re-up. I can feel just fine for a hundred bucks, or two. If I give you up, does it mean that I am always fair to you?
8.
Matchstick 03:57
You'd spin head if you knew who I was. Bagged feet, and an acid tongue. Ripped tabs for a box-top crutch. We went back for another one. Here to lay their feelings at your feet, beady eyes form a line around the street. Hey – Come on let's burn it all down. You'd drop dead if you knew what I know. Rich kids at a trap-rap show. They told me Rock and Roll, it died out a long time ago. Place the names to faces that you meet. Parasites in the company you keep. Hey – Come on let's burn it all down. Wait... I need a matchstick. Adam lights the fuse despite cold feet, and the wind sent it sailing down the street. Smell of soot and ashes, never ending. Paralyzed, paranoid, you'll stop pretending. I need a matchstick... I need a matchstick... Hey – Come on let's burn it all down. Wait... I need a matchstick.
9.
I downed a piss-warm shot, and it feels like it's trying to surface. So ready or not, whatever's in there is coming back out. When you try to swallow only your spit seems to follow you into the dark. Bang on a bathroom door. But, a cough says “I'm already in here”, And I'm not sure if I can make it to the parking lot, where I saw you thinking. That's how I found myself taking free drinks at the bar. Put on a brave face. Smile. What else have you got to lose? A set of new, fresh laces on a rotten pair of shoes. A quick tap of the bar top, and the poison rolls in. To turn tension and reflux into slightly thicker skin. Put on a straight face. Lie. What else have you got to lose? A set of new fresh faces, and another chance to choose. A quick tap of the bar top makes the devil my kin. He turns anger and bad thoughts into ordinary things. And I think I might throw up. I'm not doing so well. I'll turn error and bad luck into something I can sell. Put on a brave face. Smile. What else have you got to lose? A set of new fresh faces, and another chance.
10.
Speechless 03:33
Say it's so. Say it's time to leave. I'm a patch. Pull me off your sleeve. You let me sit here and think while you wrote a silent letter. You walk ahead of me while I fight the enemy who has no name. We'll trade sobriety to postpone anxiety. A loser's game. You let me hear what you think while you watched on from the outside. If I stand over this sink, then my mouth can never run dry. You're speechless. I should have left this all alone. My weakness out on display. You let me hear what you thought of me, and that's all you'll ever need to say. You're speechless. I should have left this all alone. My weakness got me today. You let me see what's in front of me, and that's all I'll ever need. Still sleepless. Still not a thing to call your own. My weakness gave you a home. You let me hear what you thought of me, and that's all I'll ever need to know. You can paint me in a way that'll make me less inviting, but I mean what I say. It doesn't take any practice for me, like it does for you. I see what you're going through.
11.
Rubbed Out 03:27
Counting cogs... Somewhere between man and machine. Thinking in whispers “Is this where you wanted to be?” Floating fog... Obstructing the few, you should see. Everyone's waiting. Is this all you are to me? When you rubbed out my name, I would have given you night and day. But god I felt good. Like I knew that I probably would once you got your way. Pandemonium! Watch it unfurl on your screens. Everyone's skating the line between man and regime. Psychedelia. You're feeling at home in the dream. “How can I love you if you're not afraid of me?” Then you rubbed out my name. I would have given you night and day. But god I felt good. Like I knew that I probably would

about

There’s this unique and odd sensation that occurs to me, often when reflecting on the past; wherein all moments of consequence up to that point appear to converge. It’s this strange mixture of nostalgia for a simpler time (which probably never existed), a twinge of embarrassment for the ignorance of my former self, and the sobering knowledge that for better or worse, all roads lead here -- wherever here happens to be at the time. These moments are inescapable. Consequences of the passage of time and its unrelenting need to move forward. They take the form of grief, celebration, shame, or elation. We store them in our memories, where they grow to form the building blocks of our character.

The rehashing of an old argument in the shower months after the fact.
The emotional distress of a tequila shot going down sideways. The death of a parent. A bicker amongst friends over easily google-able things. The loss of a life-long companionship. The start of a new one.

Stew attempts to assert that the sum of all human interactions and experiences, no matter how trivial, often prove pivotal and interwoven once given enough time to marinate together. Presented as a disjointed stream-of-consciousness with dozens of interconnected points, the record asks the listener to reflect and think critically about who they are, and why they are.

credits

released February 18, 2022

Music, Lyrics, Guitars & Vocals by Matthew Carlson
Drums & Mixed Percussion by Sean Dibble
Bass Guitar by John McSweeney
Lead Guitars by Manuel Fonseca

Produced, Engineer and Mixed by Dominicc Nastasi at Steadfast Studios in Naugatuck, CT

Mastered by Billy Mannino at Two Worlds Recording Studio in Whitestone, Queens, NY

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Rude Records Milan, Italy

Independent Record Label.

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